Lessons I learned. Early in my walk I wanted to learn how to live in a way that pleased God. I thought on it deeply. I knew the word said that when we judged ourselves we would not be judged, but I wasn’t wise as to how to do that. I was surrounded by his favor but I had never realized the fulness of truly confident trust. I always felt that I was missing it and really didn’t know how to recognize the things I was doing, or not doing, to make me confident in my position in God. I saw where Jesus said his disciples were clean because they had allowed him to wash their feet but that made no sense to me. (Later I saw that it’s a position of trust and intimacy with him that we have to find. You have to get close for someone to wash feet)
Later I saw a scripture that said we could reckon ourselves dead to sin but alive unto God. That was amazing to me but I didn’t feel that way. I didn’t feel all that victorious. Yet, all this time God was doing wonders all around me. I’m talking about how God is perfect when we are not. His grace mercy carried me while my mind was trying to catch up.
The one day a word from a prophet I love came and ministered to my peace. It was a simple word. It talked about God’s “moment by moment refinings” It was a reassurance I needed. It was a freeing light. I was thinking it was all up to me to know when I had made a mistake that I needed to repent of. That was wearing me out. Worry wearied me. But finally I saw that it was a matter of surrendering to a new depth of trust. It was my act of going to him in trust, lost as I often felt. Self defeat. Self blame. But healing came. He showed me that because our hearts are open to receive the word our minds are water washed in prayer devotions. The mind is renewed to the word.
But I had to set my resolve to agree with his way. I got over self, I made Jesus my best friend. You see, the mind is a battlefield. But if we give our burdens to him he is our champion. Casting down the vain imaginations which come to exalt themselves against the reality of his redeeming graces. Jesus is grace and truth and He is our defender; because we make him our refuge. He tells us who we are and frees us from insecurities about our identity. Aligned more with the right way of thinking. His presence is our place of quiet retreat. I hope this might shine a light for someone